I have missed my opportunity to rob a bank with no gloves! The reduced dose of Paclataxel has done the trick – I can now swipe into my phone again! Still tingles in the fingertips though. Yesterday, after three hours in the chemo chair I joined the tennis crowd across the road and watched my nieces win all their games in the afternoon. I must have been a good luck charm, as they had won none in the morning. The weather was not friendly for hay fever sufferers and I really struggled to keep my eyes open by 3pm. I was glad to get inside and out of the weather. I invited my nephew back for a swim and he spent 2 hours in the water. I on the other had to have a rest. It had been a huge weekend and the afternoon in the weather added to my exhaustion. It was a shame after all the work Todd has done to help me, he invited the in-laws for tea after they offered to pick our nephew up. It meant a delay in tea and more effort for conversation required. It’s a good thing my In-laws are the best in the world and are totally understanding. Pity my husband forced me (albeit it in a polite and begging like fashion), to sit at the table for tea like a naughty child. Sorry if i was rude Elaine and Barry, but that was just the last straw to a thoroughly exhausting 20 days I had strung together. Feeling more fatigued than a sloth on his last breath, I slept through my first gym class this morning, but still managed to make my aerobics class at 12pm. It was probably the worst energy I have ever put into a gym class, but at the end the mother of Jodie who I spoke of last week, came up to me and said I was an inspiration to them all.
I have to say, I love to hear things like that, it’s up lifting, positive and so encouraging to keep me doing what I’m doing. It enables me to talk the truth while still walking the confident step. It’s not roses, but it is certainly not an excuse to stop doing. On the other hand, although I know people mean well, when they say ‘stay positive’, ‘it will get better’, or such things, it makes me feel like I’m not doing enough to show I am positive, or that I am living my best life and abolishes me from being able to have a day that is, less than perfect. I certainly know that is not their intention and I also know I am by no means everyone’s inspiration. I don’t know what I want people to say, I just know I don’t want them to say that!
While my family including all my Mesecke/Trengove in-laws, are the most understanding, caring,, thoughtful, helpful, loving people on this planet, my son, still asks me to get him a slice of bread last night, and that was it……I blew. Sorry, I hope no-one I know ever has to actually truly understand how I am feeling, but when I tell my loved ones I’m tired, perhaps get your own bread!
Now as for how proud I am of the little monster, that’s another story…..Initiation into the Crows Academy Elite Talent Squad – 2019 AFL Acceleration Program.
Happy Days xx