It has been relentless.
People have said I’m brave, a tough cookie a little battler, but truth is I’m not special. Anyone who has been to chemo with me can see we are all that and more.
Personally I feel I have lost just a little bit of myself & no I haven’t had surgery yet! Take Fletcher’s passing for example: I haven’t broken down, wailed nor have I been mad or angry re my diagnosis. I’m scared if I start feeling these emotions I won’t stop, and I can’t live the rest of my life like that.
So while u might think I’m so strong or brave or tough or whatever, deep down I’m scared as he’ll but on 2nd thought I’ve lived the last 20 years like that. And while I’d like to scream ” it’s not fair “, I’m not the sickest, worst off or youngest in that chemo room and that’s when I remind myself of what I have, and stop dwelling on what I don’t.
It hasn’t been easy but nothing worth while ever is right? I’m not even half way through my treatment and yet I am thankful I have treatment to be offered. This is a lonely road no matter how much support you have. Tell your loved ones you love them xx
Happy days x