I literally booked a psychologist appointment last week, but then cancelled it because I couldn’t face admitting I can’t cope to a stranger, after coping for many many years. I don’t want to go in, only for them to focus on the cancer because it’s so much more than that. It’s about keeping going through this post traumatic stress. I have had the most traumatic 14 months, a double whammy from 20 odd years ago, along with working through 2 different jobs, changing career and having no leave as a buffer to make ends meet with daily and medical expenses that never end. I am encouraged to write more but only write about what I know, what I feel. I want to desperately write my books but cannot get pen to paper (so to speak) as life gets in The way. I am compelled to express in words and cannot stop until I do but can’t seem to reach the masses as I wish to. IGhway Images me feel like failure and along with that, I feel alone and scared and pissed off and bitter and understand that absolutely no one understands how I feel.
Happy days. Xx