On my quest for self actualization, inner peace, reaching my higher purpose and authentic bliss – this is what I know.
Meditation is my medication – I have recently been researching what has made me the way I am today and while I believe in the feeling before the healing (I’ll touch on this later) I am also abundantly aware of what my body has physically endured to survive, but never quite been able to put a finger on the science behind the long term affects of my treatments.
Let’s go back to the beginning. I was sitting here with a guided meditation by Deepak Chopra this morning, in the backyard of my dreams and in his wisdom he spoke of the following: mind, body, spirit, environment, relationships and how you deal with all these, existing within an intricate interwoven process. By every thought and feeling you have you are literally affecting your levels of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and other hormone levels. While breath and heart rate indicate stress levels (in-acting the flight or flight hormone cortisol) we can learn to regulate by experiencing inner silence, which equals homeostasis (base line status) which is when the body can self repair. What it’s designed to do. All through finding peace in stillness! So his message is, by influencing just one thought, feeling, emotion about your body, your environment or your relationships etc, you can influence your entire process – Influence everything in your life! Just by changing ONE thought, belief or emotion from a limiting past experience.
I must have you know I’ve been studying Deepak for an entire year now (just recently received my certificate in Reinventing the body, Resurrecting the soul) and received many light bulb moments, but are all easily forgotten in a hectic busy lifestyle (unless you remember to take time out daily to remember them, marinate in them, reflect on them). But a jigsaw piece was still missing – that last annoying one that just doesn’t fit where the space is! And today while being guided through the reminder of cortisol I started some informal research of the medical form hydrocortisone. I was on this oral steroid for over fourteen months, on 120 milligrams (just to put this in perspective, if you’ve ever been on it for more than a week, your dose is commonly on average no more than 2 mg). The immediate effects were obvious. I had an insatiable hunger for food, sex and action. I gained 20 kilos within weeks in fluid retention and held that for the entire duration. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t work, in fact I experienced Covid lock down without the bonus of financial support as my immune system was so suppressed, I was not to be in public.
25 years on am also personally aware and experiencing the long term potential side affects the doctors spoke of – cataracts (tick), high blood pressure (tick), avascular necrosis (tick) – but what didn’t they tell me?
They didn’t tell me that cortisol / prescribed cortisone (and I suspect in my case I had a double whammy of personally induced stress steroid hormone plus additional high level synthetic steroids) affects the way the body metabolizes carbohydrates. Nor did they tell me that it affects the way my body produces insulin. And guess what my nutritionist told me last year (without asking about my medical back ground) ‘eat less carbs as it spikes my insulin’. Don’t get me started on all these specialists working in silos without taking in the whole picture – it never ceases to amaze me how they NEVER ask. Just keep taking my money for dead end solutions. I mean seriously – NO SHIT SHERLOCK – eat less carbs – genius! While this worked for awhile at some point my medical history came back to bite me on the arse (or my case my stomach) and just too much water under the bridge to shift than swollen, inflamed belly.
Add to my steroid induced stomach, a lazy 20 years on prophylactic antibiotics (to protect me from all the shit that the steroids stopped my immune system from protecting) and you got yourself an unhealthy gut full of bad bacteria and a well practiced FIGHT response in protection from possible further attack for the better part of my life! Isn’t it no wonder I have an overactive parathyroid which dumps calcium into my blood stream? (treatment for that = cortisol ha ha ha) and a distended stomach. I’m not fat – I’m just permanently bloated.
BOTTOM LINE – not enough attention is paid to long term cancer treatment affects (I’m sure the research is there, but why advertise that when the medical profession and drug companies can profit on the ‘fixing’).
SMALL PRINT T & C’s – I wasn’t supposed to live this long
CONCLUSION – You can heal yourself, since the dawn of time this has been possible. Even Dr Strange knows this now.
I REPEAT – CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
So this blog has taken me to unexpected territory however one thing is clear. I have just had a complete new frame of reference about my body and image and future. I have achieved an amazing accomplishment – so insanely amazing I have taken it for granted and so too have my family, my friends and every medical professional that has ever come into contact with me. They don’t ask because it’s not heard of.
My measure of health is not by the circumference of my tummy as this is a false representation based on my history. My unique measure is my vibrant skin, my dynamic personality, my resilience, my ability to continue to swim, SUP, participate in yoga and dance like no-one is watching, my strength, my love of life, my desire to do better, live better, be better every single day for the rest of my life. That’s my measure
I was reminded of re framing by a friend who sent a quote last night
“When a photographer can’t change a scene, he changes his angles and lens to capture the best of that scene. Similarly, when you cant change a situation in your life, change your perspective to get the best of that situation. Try to be a filter, not a sponge”
Every day I feel closer to realising my authentic self and destiny. I am leaning into letting go of planning to control but rather trusting inner wisdom – my intuition, to guide me to my next step (with the help of some very powerful psycho social one on one [life] coaching sessions and …. yep …. another personal development course, this one is in Feminine Power).
I have discovered while doing the course the true meaning of feel to heal – and it hurts and it’s painful and it’s exhausting and it’s WORTH IT. Connecting with my past trauma has begun a shift in me like even I couldn’t have believed possible. Suddenly everything seems possible again. More so than ever before. Its another reason why I know I have put off writing my book and another reason why I am closer to that dream. Choking on reality has put me a step closer to ‘tuning’ into a full-filled well-being.
And with that it’s time to reveal my business name:
Tune into your Full Filling Well Being
So while I should be studying today to bring this reality closer, my instinct told me to blog instead. It also told me to tell you my counsel as a coach, mentor and practitioner is different than anything you have experienced as my friend. It is also, surprisingly is telling me, to join a dance studio!
And if you are curious to my qualifications in regards to health, I recently had an experience that just may well enlighten you to my extra-ordinary knowledge. Since Christmas I made my self a mini challenge to drink more water, no less that two litres a day. While I haven’t found this as difficult as I have in the past, drinking easily over this quantity each day, I have been suffering from this constant headache. Avoiding the nagging temptation to think ‘brain tumor’ I did start to believe I was over hydrating. After weeks of trying to work out what I was doing differently to cause the headache, apart from the water consumption I figured it out. To fit more water in, I was drinking less coffee!!!
Caffeine withdrawals – who knew. And with that my qualification is self explanatory 🤣🤣🤣
Happy days xx